Dowry & the 5 Stages of Marriage
Abraham sought a wife for Isaac among his people. There was no one near Abraham from his people that he could seek a wife for Isaac. Being too old to travel and knowing the promises of Yah, he sent his servant to his fathers land to bring back a wife for Isaac.
Abraham sought a wife FROM AMONG HIS PEOPLE for Isaac!
Abraham's servant, with power of Attorney, followed the stages of marriage.
- #1 Isaac was well over the age of adulthood and it was time for him to get married.
- #2 His servant and many men journeyed to Abrahams people (through rain, wind, heat and cold) to bring back a wife of Isaac's people.
- #3 After identifying the woman, he follows her back to her fathers house to seek her hand in marriage for Isaac. The father and mother agree and the faithful servant blesses Rebekah with her dowry of jewelry and precious metals.
- #4 The servant, the men with him, and the whole family were witnesses to this arrangement. They had a ceremony and feast immediately following
- #5 The servant without delay berings Rebekah to Isaac. Isaac loves Rebekah and takes her as his wife in Sarah's tent. Sex was the final 5 stage of marriage.
Ignorant brothers teach sister's only the last stage. This is a crime for the whole nation to witness. Taking a woman without following the 5 stages of marriage is making her into a concubine. Is she Hagar's daughter or Sarah's? Sisters and fathers have lost all respect and rights due to the having sex makes you married DECEPTION DOCTRINE. Just stop lying and promoting wickedness. Follow the 5 Righteous Stages of Marriage.
Not only am I applauded that brothers are not giving the required dowry to sisters for their hand in marriage. Sister's are not knowing their worth to require it. If a man wants to sleep with you sisters, he is going to tell you the most affordable option for him and easiest, if he is wicked. He won't tell you, if you sleep with him without asking your father that you would be playing the whore in your fathers house. He won't tell you that marriage is a covenant in which vows are exchanged. All covenants had witnesses. He won't tell you its best to have a wedding and exchange said vows before witnesses. I will say many brothers unknowly teach having sex makes you married, but it still isn't right.
Do you know how long that would take for him to sleep with you following 5 stages of marriage? Do you even realize how much money he would have to spend? Of course, its easier to make you a concubine wife (Sex, no vows, no dowry, no witness) then a betrothed wife. Israelite sisters do not let men treat you like you are Hagar. Your mother is Sarah, remember your worth.
All women received dowry for marriage except Concubines! In Hosea chapter 3, even a prostitute received a nice dowry. Less then 50 shekels of silver, but still a valued women. If you are a Proverbs 31 woman, your worth is far above rubies. Sleeping with a man without following the 5 stages of marriage, without dowry is ACTUALLY TELLING THEM YOU ARE WORTH NOTHING. How often are free things valued? Everyone knows a man appreciates a woman that isn't easily gotten. He will assume many men have "gotten" you if he "gets" you so easy. If that isn't the case, close your legs, do not get on his bed and put your head up. Get that dowry and enter into a covenant. Marry a man before witnesses. Show the world you are worth it. If you made a mistake and slept with him before getting betrothed (signing covenant, exchanging vows). You can correct it and start over. Make sure you actually want to marry him and do not sleep with him until the 5 stages are done. (No point buying the cow if milk is free.) If a man loves you he will be as Jacob was to Rachel.
The dowry has to cover the gift to the woman (ring, jewelry), the wedding and dare I say honeymoon expenses. This is the day sisters have dreamed about. It is a righteous day. Do not let a man deny you a proper giving away. Let your father (or beloved guardian) give you away before witnesses on your wedding day.